


"the good life--may it never change."

by snakeandladders



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 13:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakeandladders/pseuds/snakeandladders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the following prompt on the Shingeki kink meme: "Anon would love to see anything about Eren and his mom based off that post. Maybe it's just Eren wondering 'what if?' or a AU world were his mom lives, but feel free to do what you please writeanon!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	"the good life--may it never change."

I

You run off in a huff. _So what_ if you want to join the Scouting Legion? What’s so bad about wanting to go to the outside world? You just can’t stand it—just being here gets on your nerves. But what irritates you all the more is that you just can’t make _her_ see. She just doesn’t _understand_. She’s just like everyone else, laughing at the Scouting Legion, belittling their efforts—they’re all terrible, just a bunch of cattle.

You keep on running and running, until you see something that makes you even angrier. Armin’s up against a bunch of dumb guys, and that’s just perfect because now you get to take out your anger on something. But you’re denied that because they’re all suddenly spooked and they run off like their lives depended on it. And when you turn around, Mikasa’s right behind you and you’ve got no doubt that _woman_ ’s gotten Mikasa to tail you, to keep you out of trouble.

But what actually surprises you is that a few moments later, _she_ appears, slightly out of breath, having decided to come after you as well. She tries to pull you into a hug, but you refuse, folding your arms, putting on the angriest and surliest expression you can manage. She starts to tell you she’s merely concerned, but she doesn’t get to say much because this is when _that_ happens.

There’s a sudden tremor that displaces all four of you, and a flash of lightning so bright it immediately blinds. And then you see it towering over the wall—that skinless _thing_ with its terrible grin.

It’s always difficult to remember what happened next. What you _do_ remember is Hannes running up to the four of you, and then your little group being ushered away, towards the boats. She holds onto your hand as tight as possible, and as the four of you run towards safety, a flash of what might have been enters your mind, as you pass by a child being dragged away from one of its parents, who had been crushed by falling debris.

When you get onto the boat, you squeeze her hand and hug her and you just feel so incredibly relieved that you begin to cry.

\---

Despite (or perhaps because of) what the both of you have experienced in the past year, she’s even more reluctant to let you join the military. This is the second time you’ve fought since then, and you rush out angrily (again), with Mikasa following you closely. You yell at Mikasa to leave you alone, but she only keeps trailing behind you, just at a slightly greater distance. When you run out of breath, she comes up to you and tries to get you to come home. She tries to reason with you, and tells you that your mother is only concerned, wants the best for you.

You tell Mikasa that she’s the same as everyone else.

And you say to her that nothing will change your mind.

When it’s time to enlist, you simply walk out of the house and away from your mother, who has given up trying to dissuade you.

Sure enough, you soon see Mikasa following you, but this time as it turns out she’s promised your mother she’d protect you all the way to the Scouting Legion and back.

\---

With your father’s _cooperation_ , it takes the Scouting Legion, now with additional support from the other branches military, a few years to take out all the titans. In that time, you hardly ever return home, and on certain days, just thinking about your mother makes you feel a deep sense of anxiety that facing a titan never could. Your mind dredges up the endless possibilities of your own death at the hands of the remaining titans, and if it’s feeling creative, begins to suggest that your current life isn’t real, and that your mother is dead, dead, _dead_.

Eventually, you manage to make it back home. The horse you’re riding just can’t seem to gallop fast enough when you’re finally told that you get to go home after that one last campaign.

When you make into the city, you dismount and begin to run. You’re almost out of breath by the time you reach the house. You pound wildly at the door.

The door’s locked and there’s no answer.

You keep knocking on it violently until—

“Eren?”

You turn, and your mother’s just _there_.

(She’d gone out for groceries.)

You run to her. You hug her, and she’s real, and alive, and just _there_. You can feel your shoulder grow damp with her tears. She reciprocates your hug, and through her tears, she tells you how glad she is to see you home, and how proud she is of you.

You know she still thinks of you as a ridiculous child with dangerous ambitions, but she’s alive, you’re alive, and the titans are gone.

 

II

This is how it happens, this time: there’s the argument, and then, there’s you running away, angrily. You see Armin, the bullies run away, and there’s Mikasa right behind you.

And then, _it_ happens.

And after _that_ happens, you’re running home, and she’s there, trapped. The events that follow are burned into your mind forever, and when you finally come to your senses, there’s Hannes trying to get you to commiserate with him for your mutual weaknesses.

You’ll have none of that, and you seethe, and you find that you hate him, but not as much as the titans.

You’re ushered onto the boat with Mikasa, where you find yourself swearing your vengeance on _them_ , over and over.

(And then you realize you didn’t even get to apologize to her.

And that’s what makes you the angriest.)    

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a while, but decided to take a crack at this. This story basically follows one of the fan theories that Eren is going through time loops without realizing it. ;w; I apologize if it's confusing. It's kind of my personal head-canon that Eren's anger with the titans stems (in part) from guilt at having accused his mother of liking their peaceful life within the walls, only to have his wish of her seeing it his way granted in the most terrible way. ._.


End file.
